My youngest sister, LoRa (not her her real name), graduates with her Master's Degree today. For most people, graduation signals an end to college life, but for people like LoRa and myself, graduation is the beginning of a new chapter of college life - life as a professional in higher education.
My sister is entering the profession of Student Affairs, a little known profession that is essential to college life. Student Affairs folks are essentially in charge of everything that happens at college outside of the classroom, though some people (like me) are involved in the classroom as well. Student Affairs professional can be like my sister and run the residence halls, the campus activities, the career services, and the leadership programs. They can be like me and be academic advisors and academic support services for special populations, like student-athletes or first-generation college students. They can be like my co-workers and be admissions and financial aid counselors. And, for those times when college students like to pretend they can do anything and not have consequences, student affairs professionals are the conduct administrators that help students (hopefully) learn from their mistakes. It's a challenging but incredibly rewarding profession.
Congratulations LoRa! I'm proud to have you as a sister and a colleague.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Cool kids' table
I have survived almost three weeks at my new job! Woohoo!
Starting this job hasn't kicked my butt nearly as much starting my job in North Carolina. I don't know if I'm just used to the early hours, or if I don't have to lie as much so I'm not as tired (I have a desk and a computer and an office with a door and everything!!!). Personally, I think being on Central time has a lot to do with it because all my favorite shows are on at nine instead of ten, and I can still watch them and get to bed at a decent time.
I sound like an old lady.
Anyway, my job is going pretty well so far, but one thing I've noticed is that I'm definitely not one of "them." I'm not officially part of the department that my physical office is in; I partner with them, but I don't work with them and definitely not for them. Because of this, everybody is really friendly and nice, but it feels like I'm more tolerated than included.
I'm okay with this arrangement. I like doing my own thing, and I like that I'm not part of their drama. Not that they have drama drama, but they are a fairly large office and they have a lot of relationships and dynamics to manage that I don't really have to deal with as an outsider. They're also very high energy and always on the move, and I'm much more mellow at work. I still do fifteen things at once like they do, I just am more... contained is the word that's coming to mind.
Plus, they're mostly younger than me - by quite a bit actually - and while this shouldn't matter, I sometimes feel like I can't relate to them.Sometimes I sit in our meetings and think, "Wow, you have no idea." A few of them have been in the workforce for less than a year, and just don't have the years of experience I'm used to in my colleagues. I use these opportunities to teach and I try hard not to preach, but the looks I get often seem like, "Who let the old fart in?"
I think the biggest thing I've noticed, though, is I'm not part of their social interaction. They hang out after work, they joke around during the day, and they stop by each others' offices all day long. This doesn't happen with me. Part of it is that I don't share their work so they don't need to ask me questions or share their experiences, but part of it is that I just don't relate to them. I've joked to my friends that it feels like high school and they're the cool kids and I'm the nerd (again), but it's not like that. Because I work at a university, I think it's more appropriate to describe them as members of a fraternity, while I'm GDI (that's g**damn independent, or non-Greek, for you non-higher educators). They share a common experience and have bonded around that shared experience, and I'm on the outside doing my own thing. We work at the same place, and often attend the same meetings, but what we take away from our jobs and our meetings are very different. While I'm not envious of their jobs at all, nor do I really want to be part of their fraternity, I do envy the collegial nature of their work.
And you know, every now and then, it's nice to be invited to the cool kids' table.
Starting this job hasn't kicked my butt nearly as much starting my job in North Carolina. I don't know if I'm just used to the early hours, or if I don't have to lie as much so I'm not as tired (I have a desk and a computer and an office with a door and everything!!!). Personally, I think being on Central time has a lot to do with it because all my favorite shows are on at nine instead of ten, and I can still watch them and get to bed at a decent time.
I sound like an old lady.
Anyway, my job is going pretty well so far, but one thing I've noticed is that I'm definitely not one of "them." I'm not officially part of the department that my physical office is in; I partner with them, but I don't work with them and definitely not for them. Because of this, everybody is really friendly and nice, but it feels like I'm more tolerated than included.
I'm okay with this arrangement. I like doing my own thing, and I like that I'm not part of their drama. Not that they have drama drama, but they are a fairly large office and they have a lot of relationships and dynamics to manage that I don't really have to deal with as an outsider. They're also very high energy and always on the move, and I'm much more mellow at work. I still do fifteen things at once like they do, I just am more... contained is the word that's coming to mind.
Plus, they're mostly younger than me - by quite a bit actually - and while this shouldn't matter, I sometimes feel like I can't relate to them.Sometimes I sit in our meetings and think, "Wow, you have no idea." A few of them have been in the workforce for less than a year, and just don't have the years of experience I'm used to in my colleagues. I use these opportunities to teach and I try hard not to preach, but the looks I get often seem like, "Who let the old fart in?"
I think the biggest thing I've noticed, though, is I'm not part of their social interaction. They hang out after work, they joke around during the day, and they stop by each others' offices all day long. This doesn't happen with me. Part of it is that I don't share their work so they don't need to ask me questions or share their experiences, but part of it is that I just don't relate to them. I've joked to my friends that it feels like high school and they're the cool kids and I'm the nerd (again), but it's not like that. Because I work at a university, I think it's more appropriate to describe them as members of a fraternity, while I'm GDI (that's g**damn independent, or non-Greek, for you non-higher educators). They share a common experience and have bonded around that shared experience, and I'm on the outside doing my own thing. We work at the same place, and often attend the same meetings, but what we take away from our jobs and our meetings are very different. While I'm not envious of their jobs at all, nor do I really want to be part of their fraternity, I do envy the collegial nature of their work.
And you know, every now and then, it's nice to be invited to the cool kids' table.
Friday, April 29, 2011
GO LUCY!!! AGAIN!!!
Remember when my crazy sister Lucy was running in her second half-marathon? Well, tomorrow she is running in her first FULL MARATHON! Go Lucy!
Never ever ever in a million years would I be able to do that, and I admire her for her dedication and persistence. And also for her craziness, because she has to be a little insane to want to voluntarily run for four hours, but it's the good kind of insane and I respect that kind of insanity.
GO LUCY!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Never ever ever in a million years would I be able to do that, and I admire her for her dedication and persistence. And also for her craziness, because she has to be a little insane to want to voluntarily run for four hours, but it's the good kind of insane and I respect that kind of insanity.
GO LUCY!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Coffee talk
I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. I have no use for mornings.
In other words, mornings suck.
Unfortunately for me, most jobs cater to morning people so I have had to adapt my natural sleeping patterns and lifestyle to fit into the world of morning people. I have to get up earlier than my body wants to and go to bed at a "reasonable time." I have to be productive at a time when my brain hasn't even turned on yet. I have to commute when it's still dark outside. And I have to go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning.
After a day of work, I have no motivation to go to the gym so I've decided to go before work. Unlike my gym in Charlotte, however, my gym is not around the corner from my house so I can't go back home to get ready for work. Instead, I schlep a bag of clothes to the gym and get ready there. Side note: Somehow I never feel as clean when showering at the gym as I do at home, but I'll live. And my office has a door for the really bad days :)
What I don't like is that I don't have my morning get-ready time with my husband. Because I'm not a morning person, I don't generally like to talk to anyone in the morning. However, after a couple of car rides and some gym time, I usually wake up enough to have a conversation - nothing deep of course, but more than the conversations when I first wake up, which consist mostly of grunts and whining, with an occassional, "Shhh. No talking." Getting-ready conversations were basically check-ins. My husband and I would talk about our plans for the upcoming day, what to have for dinner, thoughts about the upcoming weekend, reminders to set the DVR, etc.
With my job, we drive separately to the gym, do our separate workouts, and go our separate ways when we finish. I head to the women's locker room to shower and get ready for work, and he drives home to get ready. We don't talk much, if at all, and I miss it. We've tried to adapt to our new schedule; he calls me while he's driving to work and we usually arrive at our respective offices around the same time (because his commute is 5 minutes and mine is 55 minutes). But it's not the same as having that in-person conversation.
I never thought much of those conversations before, but now that we don't have them, I recognize how important they were in our daily lives. Those morning check-ins ensured we were connected daily, and ensured our lines of communication were always open. More importantly, however, our get-ready time was an opportunity for intimacy, because we were physically present with each other. It wasn't intimacy in a sexual way - get your mind out of the gutter! - but because we shared a bedroom and a bathroom, we were constantly in each other's personal space. While that can be annoying at times, I generally enjoyed being close to my husband. I show and feel affection through physical touch, and so does my husband. Sharing our space while we were getting ready was another way for me to feel connected to my husband, just as our morning talks helped me feel connected to him.
In other words, mornings suck.
Unfortunately for me, most jobs cater to morning people so I have had to adapt my natural sleeping patterns and lifestyle to fit into the world of morning people. I have to get up earlier than my body wants to and go to bed at a "reasonable time." I have to be productive at a time when my brain hasn't even turned on yet. I have to commute when it's still dark outside. And I have to go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning.
After a day of work, I have no motivation to go to the gym so I've decided to go before work. Unlike my gym in Charlotte, however, my gym is not around the corner from my house so I can't go back home to get ready for work. Instead, I schlep a bag of clothes to the gym and get ready there. Side note: Somehow I never feel as clean when showering at the gym as I do at home, but I'll live. And my office has a door for the really bad days :)
What I don't like is that I don't have my morning get-ready time with my husband. Because I'm not a morning person, I don't generally like to talk to anyone in the morning. However, after a couple of car rides and some gym time, I usually wake up enough to have a conversation - nothing deep of course, but more than the conversations when I first wake up, which consist mostly of grunts and whining, with an occassional, "Shhh. No talking." Getting-ready conversations were basically check-ins. My husband and I would talk about our plans for the upcoming day, what to have for dinner, thoughts about the upcoming weekend, reminders to set the DVR, etc.
With my job, we drive separately to the gym, do our separate workouts, and go our separate ways when we finish. I head to the women's locker room to shower and get ready for work, and he drives home to get ready. We don't talk much, if at all, and I miss it. We've tried to adapt to our new schedule; he calls me while he's driving to work and we usually arrive at our respective offices around the same time (because his commute is 5 minutes and mine is 55 minutes). But it's not the same as having that in-person conversation.
I never thought much of those conversations before, but now that we don't have them, I recognize how important they were in our daily lives. Those morning check-ins ensured we were connected daily, and ensured our lines of communication were always open. More importantly, however, our get-ready time was an opportunity for intimacy, because we were physically present with each other. It wasn't intimacy in a sexual way - get your mind out of the gutter! - but because we shared a bedroom and a bathroom, we were constantly in each other's personal space. While that can be annoying at times, I generally enjoyed being close to my husband. I show and feel affection through physical touch, and so does my husband. Sharing our space while we were getting ready was another way for me to feel connected to my husband, just as our morning talks helped me feel connected to him.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Brain droppings
I was so overwhelmed by all my comments the last couple of days - yes, twelve comments is a lot of comments - that I thought "I have to write an amazing post and build on my momentum!" And of course my mind went blank and I couldn't come up with anything.
And then I realized that it didn't really matter, because really the only people who read this are my sisters and a couple of friends and who was I kidding anyway. Magically, the thoughts came back.
And now you get the scary gibberish that is my brain. You're welcome!
And then I realized that it didn't really matter, because really the only people who read this are my sisters and a couple of friends and who was I kidding anyway. Magically, the thoughts came back.
And now you get the scary gibberish that is my brain. You're welcome!
- I start my new job on Monday!
- I love the show Community, but I've realized I only really pay attention when Abed is on screen.
- I had a personal training appointment yesterday and the trainer said his goal was to make sure I was sore tomorrow. He FAILED and that gives me a great deal of satisfaction. But that also means I have no excuse for not going to the gym.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 comes out on DVD today!!!!
- I love Top Chef, but I have no use for Top Chef Masters.
- I played Hungry, Hungry Hippos all by myself yesterday. And guess what? I won!!!
- I have hit a major sports lull. The initial excitement about the beginning of baseball season has worn off, and I have a long time to wait for college basketball to start, and who knows if the NFL is going to play this year. There's still soccer though...
- The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway may be the greatest thing ever shown on HBO.
- My husband is going to Chile and Brazil for work next month, and I don't get to go because I have this thing called "a job." I don't know why I was so eager to go back to work.
- I have an attic full of Christmas decorations and exactly two decorations for Easter - a door hanging and an Easter basket. I may need to shop.
- My in-laws are coming to visit this weekend. Give me strength...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
What have you been busy with? You don't have any kids!
My sister Lucy volunteers as a weekly visitor to an elderly woman who is essentially stuck at home with no regular visitors. Lucy refers to this woman as "my old lady" and she has great affection for her. Anyway, Lucy posted this as her Facebook status yesterday:
When I start my new job next week, my concept of "busy" will change. I'll have an eleven hour day including my commute. I'm starting a student services program from scratch so I'm sure I will be doing eighteen things at once - "building the plane while I fly it" so to speak. Dinner will still have to be made, workouts will still have to be completed, blogs will still need to be written - because my sisters say so - and laundry will need to be folded. I'll be busy.
But right now, I'm at home and I don't have kids. This doesn't mean I'm not busy. Our house didn't unpack itself after our move. The walls didn't go to Lowe's and pick out their own paint and put it on themselves. Our groceries don't magically show up. I can't exactly drive-thru the DMV to get my Wisconsin license and register the cars. My scrapbooks are gorgeous for a reason. Heck, even though I don't clean my house, the cleaning fairies didn't just show up one day - I had to make calls, schedule appointments, meet with people, check references, etc. And throwing on some Shape-ups while I run errands isn't going to get me the workout I want or need.
I'm busy.
I understand parents are busy, but I am too. What I am busy doing may seem frivolous or unimportant when compared with raising a child, but it's my choice and it's my luxury because I chose not to have kids right away. I wanted to go to school, establish a career, and build a nest egg. I wanted to visit a baseball stadium on whim or take a last-minute vacation when I got stressed out. I wanted to be able to move across the country for a great job opportunity (for my husband or me) and not have to worry about moving kids and switching schools.
I am more than okay with my choice not have kids at this point in my life because I love the life that I have. I love that I can spend my day cropping pictures and picking out scrapbook papers. I love that I can spend hours grocery shopping and trying out a new recipe for dinner. I love that I can read a book cover to cover in one afternoon. I love that I can spend quality time with my husband. I love that I can do the things I want to do.
What I don't love is having my choices trivialized. I don't love being called selfish. I don't love that I'm viewed as superficial. I don't love that my time and how I spend it is not viewed as important or worthwhile. I don't love that my worth as a woman is measured by raising children.
Most of all, I don't love that it's socially acceptable for everyone - working moms, stay-at-home dads, and even old ladies - to verbally pass judgment on how I spend my time, and it's proper etiquette for me to keep my mouth shut and take it.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Deadliest Catch starts tonight!!!
I am very excited that Deadliest Catch Season 7 premiers tonight. I have no idea why I enjoy a show about catching crab but I really do.
I remember the first time I saw Deadliest Catch. I was living in Wisconsin, and my husband and I were laying in bed, flipping channels, and came across this show on the Discovery Channel. He said something to the effect of, "I saw this/heard about this, it's really cool" and we watched it. When they showed a simulation of the crabs crawling on the Bering Sea floor, my husband ran his fingers on my arm to imitate a crab walk and made this weird noise that sounded like gargling, blowing bubbles, and crab claws clicking - it both freaked me out and made me laugh. He still does it when we watch it, and it still makes me laugh.
Okay, maybe I know why I enjoy a show about catching crab.
I remember the first time I saw Deadliest Catch. I was living in Wisconsin, and my husband and I were laying in bed, flipping channels, and came across this show on the Discovery Channel. He said something to the effect of, "I saw this/heard about this, it's really cool" and we watched it. When they showed a simulation of the crabs crawling on the Bering Sea floor, my husband ran his fingers on my arm to imitate a crab walk and made this weird noise that sounded like gargling, blowing bubbles, and crab claws clicking - it both freaked me out and made me laugh. He still does it when we watch it, and it still makes me laugh.
Okay, maybe I know why I enjoy a show about catching crab.
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