Clean all the things!!!

My house is immaculate! I cleaned all the things!

Not really. My house IS immaculate, but I didn't clean any of the things. I hired a maid service, and they come every other week and clean all the things. And you know what? I'm absolutely, completely, 100 percent okay with paying someone to clean my house, even though I am a housewife and I should be doing it myself.

In my career, I spent a lot of time trying to work on my weaknesses so that they were not impairments in my ability to do my job. And through my work with students with disabilities, and my own struggles with ADHD, I've also learned to accept limitations and/or find ways to accommodate learning or functioning differences. For example, my students who had difficulty reading were given text-to-speech software to read their textbooks to them. They gleaned the necessary information from the textbooks, just in a different way.

In my career as a housewife, I recognize I have many strengths, but cleaning is not one of them.

I tried. I made cleaning schedules. I told myself to clean one extra thing each day. I tried to put things away after I used them. And all that happened is that I got frustrated and mad because I couldn't do it, and the house just got messier and dirtier. I finally had to accept my limitations and figure out a way to accommodate them. I had to find my reading software.

Enter MaidBrigade. They clean my house for me while I am doing the sixteen other things I need or want to do in a day, and I give them a check for doing what I can't do. Yes, it's an additional expense. Yes, it's a luxury. But it's also stress relief for me. I have 32 years of life experience that tell me that I can't keep anything clean for an extended period of time (Hello! Tell-tale sign of ADHD! Blinking neon sign! Anyone?!?) Rather than listen to everyone tell me that it is my job as a housewife to clean the house and then ultimately feel like a failure at my job because I can't do this simple, normal task, I found my accommodation.

I found a way to clean all the things.

(Thanks, Allie Brosh, for my post title... AGAIN!)

Christmas gift idea 5: Support your favorite blogger!

I may have outdone myself this year. I think I'm retiring as a gift giver.


My favorite blogger, by far, is Allie Brosh at Hyperbole and a Half. She's absolutely hilarious and you need to follow her immediately. You're not going to learn anything crafty or find ideas for dinner, but you will laugh your head off. And if you're me, you'll find ideas for Christmas presents.

You see, Allie has a store where she sells t-shirts and mugs and other things with her drawings on them. And I love them, and I love her, and I don't want her to be homeless, so I bought something from her.

Let me back up:

At some point last year, probably over the summer, my sister Lucy was bored at work. Normally when she is bored at work, we chat online. However, on this particular day I was busy doing work so I couldn't entertain her. Instead, I directed her to Hyperbole and a Half and told her to entertain herself by reading the posts. The most recent post was Dog, but I told her if she didn't want to read that one, she absolutely had to read the one before it, entitled This Is Why I'll Never Be an Adult. I know Allie says that it is about her, but I'm pretty sure that it was written about me.

Then Lucy and I had this conversation:

Lucy: Do I have to read it? It's so long.

Me: Yes, read it. You'll thank me later.

Lucy: (Five minutes later). That is freaking hilarious.

Me: I told you. Don't ever doubt my abilities to find awesome ways to procrastinate.

And she was hooked.

Once I realized that Allie had a store, I knew I had to get something for Lucy. Because I introduced the blog to her as a way to procrastinate, I thought something about procrastination or responsibility would be appropriate. Ultimately I decided to draw inspiration from this post, and bought her the Responsibility Champion mug.


Because Lucy gets shit done. Or pretends to anyway.

Like the stapler in jello and Gilmore Girls cookbook, the idea behind the gift is something I share with the gift receiver. My sister and I love this blog and have gotten hours of entertainment from it, so I thought it was only appropriate to give a gift to commemorate this time in our lives. My intention was for her to use it at home or work, of course, but really to have her smile whenever she looked at or used it. And hopefully think of me.

A lot of bloggers have etsy or zazzle shops, so I encourage you to look at their shops and give gifts from your favorite bloggers. The money goes to someone you support and believe in, and has a personalized touch, even if you didn't make it yourself.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, if I ever have a kid, I want this:

I (heart) U Alot Infant Creeper from Hyperbole and a Half Zazzle store

Feel free to post your favorite bloggers and their shops (or yours) in the comments section!