The Biltmore

While many of you were out shopping on Friday, my husband and I took a road trip to Asheville, NC. Asheville is northwest of Charlotte and in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We'd been told by many people that we had to see the Biltmore Estate at some point, and that it was gorgeous when it was decorated for Christmas. We decided to take advantage of being in North Carolina for Thanksgiving and drove two hours to Asheville to do a candlelight tour of the Biltmore Estate.

The Biltmore Estate is huge - it was almost three miles from the entrance gate to the house! We were directed to a parking lot, and from the parking lot we took a shuttle through the dark woods up to the mansion. When we pulled into the driveway, lighted by hundreds of luminarias, we saw this amazing and beautiful home. The outside of the home wasn't decorated, but there were lots and lots of Christmas trees on the lawn that were covered in lights!

Grinch toured the Biltmore with us

When we walked in the home, we were immediately transported to a Victorian Christmas. They even had ballerinas in the Winter Garden performing the party scene from the Nutcracker. The rooms were beautifully decorated and all of them had at least one tree. They used fresh garland and wreaths throughout the house (they estimated at least four miles of fresh garland were hung this year), and the Christmasy pine smelled absolutely wonderful. They also made a gingerbread replica of the estate that smelled delicious! I wanted to sneak a piece - they wouldn't notice, right?

They normally have audio tours available, but they weren't available for the candlelight visit. Instead we had a booklet to follow, that gave the history and interesting details of each room. There were also docents available to answer questions, particularly in the larger rooms with historical significance. For example, the library had a chess set owned by Napoleon! We had a wonderful time learning about the history of the home, as well as enjoying the beautifully decorated rooms. My husband and I took a trip to Spain in May, and walking through the mansion reminded me of all the castles and churches and museums we toured. Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but the website has a few pictures so you can get an idea of what we saw. It was beautiful, and certainly not a place I would've visited if I didn't live so close.

That's one thing I've learned since moving to Charlotte - I definitely appreciate visiting and exploring new places. When I was living in the Midwest, I know I took my area for granted and assumed I'd seen everything worth seeing because I'd lived there my whole life. Everything is new to me in Charlotte, and I love visiting places I never knew about or traveling to parts of the country I'd never visit otherwise. I can honestly say I'd never go to Asheville if I didn't live so close to it now. Plus, I'm doing all of this exploration with my husband, and I always appreciate and cherish new experiences and making memories with my partner.

Thanksgiving leftovers 2: Macaroni and cheese

Butternut squash is a staple at my family's Thanksgiving dinner. I am not a fan.

I like butternut squash when it's cut into chunks and roasted with something sweet, like brown sugar or maple syrup, but this is not how butternut squash is served at our Thanksgiving dinner. Instead, my mom cuts the squash in half and roasts it in the oven with a little butter (or butter spray), and then mashes into a baby food consistency. Yes, baby food. I remember my mom defrosting boxes of frozen squash and using them as baby food, and that is exactly what our Thanksgiving butternut squash looks like. As my husband says, it looks exactly like it sounds - squashed.

However, I discovered that this preparation of squash or those boxes of frozen squash are great for making some awesome macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese is a traditional Thanksgiving side dish in the South, so combining squash with mac and cheese is doubly festive. Plus, the 10-ounce boxes are on sale for $1 this week at my grocery store, so they're definitely a good bargain this time of year.

The recipe I use is Rachael Ray's Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese (FYI - Boo is her dog). She uses the frozen squash in a box, but if you have Thanksgiving squash like my family (or the fresh is on a great sale), you could substitute the mashed fresh stuff instead. If you're a fan of baked macaroni and cheese, I recommend the Harvest Moon Macaroni. It's almost the same recipe, but finishes with a few minutes under the broiler to get that nice brown top on it.

The squash really makes the sauce creamy and adds great depth of flavor without really changing the taste of macaroni and cheese. These recipes use ingredients that are already inexpensive, but also takes advantage of some Thanksgiving ingredients that can be picked up for a bargain this time of year - squash, chicken stock, and fresh thyme.

And who doesn't love macaroni and cheese?

Thanksgiving leftovers: Chicken and sweet potatoes

The Food Network has been highlighting Thanksgiving recipes for the last couple of weeks, and I have been completely into it. I now know how to brine, deep fry, roast, smoke, and grill a turkey. Of course, I'm having my Thanksgiving dinner at the country club so I'm not sure how useful any of this information will be, but I'm available in case you have a Thanksgiving-food related question.

My favorite shows are related to what to do with Thanksgiving leftovers. I love watching food morph into different food with a completely different flavor. This is the essence of Robin Miller's Quick Fix Meals and Sandra Lee's Round Two Recipes. Who hasn't had leftover chicken and thought, "What should I do with this?" These types of recipes are really helpful for me because my husband is not a fan of leftovers. I can freeze something and he'll eat it weeks later, but he's not interested in having last night's dinner for lunch tomorrow.

The leftover segments got me thinking about my own leftover situation this year. Because we're eating at a buffet, we sadly won't have any Thanksgiving leftovers. We're also eating at 1pm so I fully expect to be hungry again by 8pm. I might actually have to cook something... but what? It seems like this would be the perfect time for Thanksgiving leftovers, but I don't want to make Thanksgiving dinner just to have leftovers! Hmm.

I'm also being fairly budget conscious, especially as we head into the holidays. Even though I'm not making Thanksgiving dinner, I'm still taking advantage of the great sales on Thanksgiving foods - cans of pumpkin, crescent rolls, sweet potatoes, chicken stock, cranberries, etc. These are foods I either already use frequently or like but don't usually make because of availability/cost. But now is a great time to stock up or plan menus around these items.

This is what I offer to you. Over the next couple of days, I'm going to post some ideas and recipes for using "Thanksgiving ingredients" in different ways. I'll also post a few leftover recipes for good measure (I may finally share my Thanksgiving braid recipe).

I'll start with what we had for dinner tonight. These recipes highlight sweet potatoes, which I've been eating a lot lately, and those French's Fried Onions that I've only ever used for green bean casserole.

French's Crunchy Onion Chicken
I linked the recipe from the French's website (it was also on the back of the can) because it is pretty close to what I made. I made the three-serving (read: 3 chicken breasts) Dream Dinners version tonight, and I don't remember exactly what was in it. The major variation is that instead of an egg dip, I melted minced garlic (1 tsp maybe?) and worcestershire sauce (1 tsp maybe?) in a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in a small sauce pan and dipped the chicken in that before rolling it in the crushed onions (I didn't use flour). I baked at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes and then broiled for 2 minutes. It was absolutely delicious - very moist and full of flavor. It was a great way to use those onions so buy the big canister when you're making the green bean casserole!

Candied Carrots and Sweet Potatoes
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch chunks
2 carrots, sliced
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup water
salt to taste - I used about 1/2 tsp

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Steam the sweet potatoes and carrots until tender. Put vegetables in a baking dish (probably a 9x13 - I used an 8x8). Melt the remaining ingredients in a small saucepan over medium heat until the brown sugar dissolves and it starts to bubble. Pour the brown sugar mixtures over the vegetables and bake for 45min-1 hour. I stirred up the vegetables a couple of times to make sure the brown sugar and butter continued to coat the vegetables.

These vegetables are definitely sweet - they are called candied afterall - but I thought they were a great balance to the savory and somewhat salty flavor of the chicken. Sweet potatoes are full of Vitamin A and inexpensive right now so I am a huge fan of playing with different preparations, flavors, and textures right now. Stock up!

Christmas Gift Idea 3: For "The Office" Fan

When you hear words "stapler" and "jello," what do you think of? Maybe Jim Halpert, Dwight Shrute, or The Office. I think Christmas present!

How I did it:
I started with gel candle wax, yellow food coloring, a glass jar (mine had a lid but it doesn't need one), and a mini stapler. I followed the directions on the package for melting the gel and added the food coloring while it melted. (Fragrance can also be added to the gel.) I poured a little of the melted gel into the jar, put the stapler in, and slowly poured the rest of the gel into the jar. The stapler was big and heavy enough that I didn't have to secure it in place while I was filling the jar. Let the jar cool completely. TA-DA!

By using the mini stapler and gel wax, it's small and non-perishable so it can easily decorate a desk which was my intention. I made this for my sister, who also watched The Office, so she could put this on her desk at work. I knew she and her co-workers often talked about the show, and I thought they would get a few laughs from it too!

This may have been one of my favorite gifts ever. It was obviously very easy, but just the idea of it made me laugh. I mean really, how stupid is this? (And by stupid, I mean awesome.) I had so much fun making it and was very excited to give it to my sister on Christmas.

Momma should've told me...

My mom is awesome and she's taught me a lot over the years. But as I've gotten older, I've discovered there are many things I probably should've learned or been told along the way. I decided to make a list so that I'll remember to teach my hypothetical daughter these important things and/or to learn how to do them at some point. And also so I'll have one more thing to hold against my mother. Just kidding, Mom!

1. All ingredients should be at room temperature when baking.
I don't bake often - partially because I don't have a persistent sweet tooth and partially because my skills are subpar. I used to make cookies all the time, but they always came out flat and I never understood why. Now I know it's because I used to bake with cold butter, cold eggs, and cold milk, but room temperature ingredients help make baked goods light and fluffy. Giada De Laurentiis and various other Food Network hosts taught me this. My baking skills appear to have improved after learning this useful nugget of information, but now I'm dealing with a crappy oven that doesn't hold its temperature very well. I don't think I'm meant to be a baker, but I'm glad I know the rules now.

2. The rule about room temperature ingredients does not apply to making pie crusts.
The Food Network also taught me this one. Butter needs to be ice cold when making a pie crust. Baking has too many rules and since I don't do a good job of following rules, I shouldn't be surprised I can't and don't like to bake.

3. How to sew.
Aside from an accident involving the sewing machine needle going through my finger, I've never touched a sewing machine. I have no idea how to sew or knit or do anything that would make JoAnn Fabrics a more appealing place. I learned how to cross-stitch (sort of), but my mom didn't teach me that - I learned at a birthday party. My mom knows how to sew, and at least two of my sisters took some sort of sewing or home economics class in high school (we have scrunchies and bags to prove it!) but I never learned. I wish I did because I have a list of things I want to make.

4. Boys are silly and they smell like goats.
I learned this expression on Kairos retreat in high school. After discussing all the ways that boys had disappointed us or screwed us up, one of my group members made this proclamation and it stuck. Essentially it means that boys are immature, relationships with boys are challenging, it's okay to roll your eyes and walk away when boys do things that are dumb. What I took away from it is that I don't need a boy to be happy. My mom never emphasized dating or boyfriends, but she also never explicitly told me that I didn't have to settle for a boy who wasn't worthy of me just so that I'd have a date to Homecoming. I wish she would have. If I ever have a daughter, I will want her to know that her self worth isn't measured by how boys perceive her, and that it's okay to ignore boys until they mature - or at least get more mature.

5. The right way to apply make up.
I'll take responsibility for this one because the first time I wore make up was for my senior pictures, and only wore it from time to time over the next five, no ten years... who am I kidding? I still rarely wear make up, and I think it looks goofy when I do. I had a professional make up lesson before my wedding so I know how to apply special day make up for photographs, but I still don't know really know how to put on make up for normal days.

6. It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life.
With the outrageous costs of higher education, students feel a lot of pressure to figure out a life purpose. But there's also a belief in higher education that if a student doesn't reconsider/change a major at least four times in college, the college hasn't done its job. I could go into all the developmental theory about college students and career development, but instead I'll just say that it's impossible for college students to know want to do for the rest of their lives when they are eighteen years old and only have a preliminary understanding of who they are.

7. I don't know what to do/I made a mistake.
When I was an adult, my mom acknowledged she made a lot of mistakes with me, but I wish she would've acknowledged them when they happened. Instead, I felt that I was being treated unfairly and was generally misunderstood by my mom. That's not unique to me - I know most kids, especially teenage girls, feel like their parents are unreasonable and don't understand them at some point. But for me, I know things would've been better if my mom would've told me that she didn't know how to communicate with me or motivate me or discipline me instead of pretending that mommy knows best.

Trading Spaces

Do you remember this show on TLC? I recently discovered re-runs on one of the random UVerse channels I have, and I've started watching it again. I used to watch it religiously. In fact, TLC was my Bravo before Bravo existed. I always got tons of ideas from the show about how to decorate on a budget. I learned a lot about creating my own artwork and revamping furniture to be used in new ways, and applied a lot of those ideas to my first house. I learned to embrace color and that walls can always be re-painted if necessary.

TLC and HGTV focused heavily on these types of decorating shows for a while, but then these shows disappeared and were replaced with real estate shows. Of course, TLC now features shows on "unusual" families, and after watching what is happening to the Gosselin children, I'm now longing for the days of Trading Spaces and While You Were Out.

I'm sure there are many, many reasons why Trading Spaces went off the air, but I personally believe that the primary reason is that the show started focusing on creating drama and controversy and stopped focusing on design. Sure, every Trading Spaces fan remembers the "crying Pam" episode or "I hate brown Jessie," but what made those episodes memorable was the reaction of the participants to decent-looking room makeovers. Unfortunately, the ratings from these episodes made the producers think "If we can get more people to hate their rooms, we can have even BIGGER ratings!" Designs like "White, Whoa" (a room done entirely in white) or a room inspired by an egg (black walls, yellow dining room furniture) become the norm. And then people like me, who are looking for ideas to incorporate into my own home, turn off the television.

The demise of Trading Spaces represents what I hate most about reality television. I hate the drama, but I really hate when situations are manipulated for the sake of creating drama. I feel uncomfortable and then I change the channel. I know a lot of people love all the juicy conflicts shown on reality television, but I think those shows become predictable and boring after a while.

Don't get me wrong, I like to watch reality television, but I'm becoming turned off by the cattiness and overall bad behavior. I'm concerned that so many shows glorify and reward people who have no real talent (or intelligence), and in many cases, engage in manipulative, abusive, and destructive behavior. I miss the days when the only reality drama was whether to take down a ceiling fan.

Breakfast of champions

This week, I joined in with many stay-at-home moms and started packing lunch for my kids. Except it's for my husband, not my kid, and it's breakfast not lunch.

My husband has a gym in his office building, and he works out regularly before work. This means that he doesn't eat breakfast at home. He participates in a breakfast club, which involves club members taking turns bringing breakfast for the group on Fridays. Sometimes he remembers to grab a protein bar or a banana on the way out the door, but most days he goes without breakfast. Because he exercises in the morning, I firmly believe he needs something to get him through the morning, so I started packing his breakfast at night, leaving it in a plastic bag next to his wallet and car keys so he'll remember to grab it.

Breakfast of champions.

Christmas Gift Idea 2: Cookbook for the television lover

Last week, I mentioned that I needed a project to keep me occupied. I still haven't found one, but I thought I'd give you an example of the type of project I'm looking for, and also share another Christmas gift idea with you.

During one of my husband's trips last year, I found myself bored and in need of a project. My youngest sister, who is my default source of entertainment when I'm bored (and by "source of entertainment" I mean that I stalk her on Facebook, text relentlessly, chat, call, and otherwise bother her while she's trying to work), suggested I watch my Gilmore Girls DVDs. I generally don't need encouragement to watch Gilmore Girls, but I knew simply watching Gilmore Girls wasn't going to cut it. No, I needed something to do. However, while watching Gilmore Girls, I noticed how many food references were made and how much time was devoted to eating in each episode. Thus, the Gilmore Girls Cookbook was born.



How I did it: I watched every single episode of Gilmore Girls with a pen and paper or my laptop in front of me. I waited for food references, and then wrote down the quote, noting the season and episode. After I compiled an extensive selection of quotes, I re-read them and looked for funny sayings that I could turn into recipe names, and then searched my favorite food websites for recipes. I looked for recipes that were both appropriate for the created name and fairly simple since I was planning to give this cookbook to my sister who is a novice cook.

Here's an example:
Lorelai: Ooh, meringue.
Sookie: Yeah, I thought I'd do a variation on a Baked Alaska for dessert tonight.
Lorelai: What kind of variation?
Sookie: Yeah, I hadn't thought of that yet.
                                 ~ Season 1, Episode 12: Double Date

I entitled this recipe "Variation on a Baked Alaska" and included this recipe from the Food Network magazine. When I printed the cookbook, I used a booklet format so that the quote is on the left side, and the recipe is on the right-hand page, and I had the booklet spiral bound with the cover made of card stock with a plastic cover so it would be durable.

I ended up with 30 recipes, including such gems as:

• Yale Special
• Emily's Burning Loin
• Sleeping with the Zucchini
• Devil's Starchy Fingers
• Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

I think this is a great gift for any television addict and amateur foodie. I chose Gilmore Girls because it is a show that my sister and I both love, but any television show or movie could work. It's also practical - she asked for recipes and cookbooks for Christmas and I intentionally chose recipes that I thought were easy to make and sounded delicious. It's also the kind of homemade gift that I think most people appreciate - inexpensive, but thoughtful and very personal.

Do you have any ideas like this? Please share!

What I'm reading

I love to read. When I read for fun, I generally read brainless, entertaining, popular books. I'm sure I would enjoy other things, but when I'm strolling through Borders and scrolling through the Kindle store, the books that jump out at me are the ones I call "airplane books." Airplane books are the kind of books that I can read for extended periods of time, but that don't require a great deal of concentration or attention. To give you an example, my default authors in this category are John Grisham and Nicholas Sparks. They both released books recently and I have them ready for the Christmas traveling!

I do sometimes read books with more ... substance, however. Most recently, I read The Lonely Polygamist by Brady Udall. It was a quick read, despite weighing in at 600+ pages, and was both light-hearted and serious. The story is told from multiple perspectives, namely the patriarch of the multiple families, the youngest and newest wife, and one of the children, and the shifting perspective keeps the writing and the story fresh. Underneath the four wives and twenty-some children, there's a typical family with typical family problems and that makes the characters and the stories real.

Other reviews describe the characters and the plot and all its literary merits, but I'll just say it meets my criteria for fun reading: Easy to read, engaging, good story and plot, and interesting characters. I recommend it - Put it in your book list queue and read it when you have a chance!

Christmas Gift Idea 1: Personalized glasses

It's two weeks to Black Friday Eve - also known as Thanksgiving - which means it's the time of year when people start searching for the "perfect gift." I don't always find the perfect gift, but think I've done a pretty good job of finding or making creative and unique gifts. Over the next few weeks, I thought I'd share a few of the favorite gifts I've given or received over the years - some bought, some homemade, some semi-homemade.

Here's the back story: My family has a habit of designating a water glass for use throughout the day. We'll fill up a glass of water early in the day and continue to use it throughout the day, and then put it in the dishwasher at night. This habit works well when we are at our own homes. I have no problem keeping track of my glass when it's just my husband and me. However, when we go to my parents' house, we often play a game of "Is this my glass or your glass?" We forget where we left our glass, or sometimes pick up someone else's glass. In the end, we seem to go through a lot of drinking glasses because we can never find our designated drinking glass.

A few years ago, my parents asked for new glasses. They'd broken a bunch and just needed some new ones. So my sisters and I gave my parents glasses for Christmas, but we added a unique touch - we had our names etched on them. Now when we visit my parents, we each have our own glass and it's easy to keep track of our water glasses.

How we did it: We bought a set of twelve glasses and had eight of them etched with "Mom" and "Dad" and each of our first names (I believe we took them to Things Remembered). At the time, only two of the daughters were married and the grandkids weren't old enough to use glasses. When another sister got married, we took an unetched glass from my parents' cabinet and brought it back to the store to have our new brother-in-law's name etched on it. In fact, one of the first things he said at the brunch on the day after his wedding was, "I want a glass with my name on it!" We proudly presented it to him. As our family grows, we will add names to the remaining three glasses and buy additional glasses if we need more.

I have to give credit to my older sister for this idea. The glasses themselves are practical, but having our names on them has turned out to be practical in a completely different way. Plus, I like that I can go to my parents' house and still have something that is mine.

Love role models

We had more drama unfold yesterday with respect to our Christmas plans. There's nothing I can do about it, so I'm choosing to let it unfold how it will and trying to stay out of it. However, the drama got me thinking about marriage and relationships and how we learn to love.

I had good role models for relationships. They weren't perfect by any means, and as I became an adult I learned how imperfect they really were, but from my child and adolescent perspective I witnessed good examples of how to love and be in love. I learned about support, devotion, forgiveness, romance, sacrifice, laughter, affection, and commitment. I also learned the importance of partnerships and of continuing to date my husband after marriage. Most of all, I learned to never take love for granted  and to continually work on my relationship and my marriage.

I feel incredibly lucky that when the time was right for me to fall in love, I knew how to love and was capable of loving someone. I certainly wasn't perfect and I'm still not, but I knew how to open my heart to someone else, become vulnerable, and give myself to another person. I learned that from watching my parents and grandparents, and from being loved by my friends and my family.

Our most recent drama serves as a reminder to me that not everyone knows how to love unconditionally, and that being married for a long time doesn't always translate into being in love or knowing how to love. I hope that my husband and I can serve as love role models for our friends and family. Perhaps we can start with a couple who should've been role models for us.

Holiday not so fun

I feel like this is going to be a series, even though I hoped it wouldn't be. If you need to get caught up, go read this and this first.

The latest drama is this: my mother-in-law only bought four tickets to the Jim Brickman concert because my father-in-law is not going. Apparently my father-in-law didn't want to listen to a Jim Brickman CD so my mother-in-law decided he wouldn't appreciate the concert and therefore didn't buy him a ticket (or something like this - I'm getting this story third-hand so I'm a little fuzzy on the details). Now, as I mentioned, I believe my father-in-law would fall asleep a few songs into the concert, but in all fairness, he falls asleep at almost anything that happens after 7pm. In that way, it makes sense that he doesn't go with us to the concert.

Unfortunately, this isn't just about attending a concert. This is our Christmas present and part of our Christmas celebration. The reason we no longer do traditional gift-giving is so that we can spend time together, building memories as a family, and we supposedly all approve of the activity before plans are made. The decision to choose something that a) my father-in-law doesn't want to do and/or b) excludes a member of the family is the exact opposite of what we're trying to accomplish with these outings. Somehow the element of quality family time keeps getting lost in the planning.

When I heard this latest wrinkle in our holiday fun, I rolled my eyes and sighed. There's nothing I can do about it, and I'm not going to try. My husband is upset, and he's going to talk directly to his parents about this new situation, but I am going to stay out of it as much as possible. I know this isn't about Christmas anymore.

Lego Harry Potter (or "How did you do that?")

After a day of football, homework, and cleaning out the closets, my husband and I were not in the mood to go anywhere on Saturday night, but we still wanted to do something. We tossed around a few ideas of things to do, but ultimately rejected all of them. A few weeks ago, I suggested buying a Playstation3 game that my husband and I could play together, and my husband was all for it. Unfortunately, finding a game we are both interested in and that I can actually play is a lot more challenging than it may seem. My gaming skills peaked with the original Nintendo. However, after much research, I decided that I could probably manage the Lego Harry Potter game.

Saturday night we walked to Walmart to buy it. Unfortunately, we waited for more than twenty minutes for someone to open the case and then gave up and walked home, and then watched Invictus for the fourteenth time. Thank you, HBO.

However, I was still determined to get a game that we could play together, and Sunday afternoon we went to another store to buy my - I mean, our Harry Potter game. And after watching a half of awful Carolina Panther football, we decided to play the game for a little while. That little while became two hours. It's a lot of fun and completely addictive.

We paid a good chunk of change upfront, but we now have hours of entertainment ahead of us. I'm sure I'll play the game on my own, but I really like that we have something we can do together. It's fun to figure out all the tricks and the spells, and laugh hysterically when we just can't do something. It may seem silly, and it's definitely a little childish, but I'm excited to have something we can both enjoy on our lazy nights in.

Project needed

My husband was gone for a few days last week, traveling for work. While he was gone, I cleaned out my closet and dresser, and I created a pretty nice donation pile. I was very proud of myself because I have an unnatural attachment to clothing, particularly t-shirts. I've seen some really cool projects to make with t-shirts, but I think it'll probably lessen my chances of ending up on Hoarders one day if I just toss or donate the t-shirts that are more than ten years old. Baby steps.

Last night, my husband needed to spend some time doing homework, so I decided to clean out his closet and dresser. Though we have a huge pile for donation, cleaning out the closets didn't take nearly as long as I hoped it would. I still had time to kill, and I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how I could occupy my down time.

I enjoy reading and I just bought a couple of books to read for pleasure, but I need to find something more hands-on than reading. I need a project. I need something to keep me busy for multiple hours over an extended period of time. I need to do something.

My fall back project is scrapbooking. I have a great loft area with all my scrapbook supplies set up, and I really could spend hours working on my albums. I have hundreds of pictures that need to be sorted and cropped and put into albums. But I really want to do something else - something new. Something awesome.

I can't sew or knit, and I'm renting so I can't do anything to my home. I also don't want to spend a ton of money. And at the end of it all, I don't want to have a crafty piece of crap. Any ideas?

Meet the Grinch



In the car, on our way to pick out the other "Stanleys"

Remember my family's Christmas Flat Stanley project? Well, I thought it was time to meet our "Stanley" - the Grinch from Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It may seem odd to have the Grinch be part of a project that helps us find our Christmas spirit, but I think the Grinch and his story are a perfect example of how Christmas Spirit can be found in the unexpected.


Even before we started this project, the Grinch was already special around our house. My husband has Grinch pajama pants that he wears every Christmas morning. It's our family tradition to wear Christmas jammies on Christmas morning while we open presents, so our Grinch also reminds us of this fun tradition. Just thinking about being with the family on Christmas morning makes our hearts grow three sizes.

He's pretty cute, isn't he? You can also find a Grinch, or other Dr. Seuss characters for only $5 - they're the Kohl's Cares merchandise this year!

Just a little reminder that Christmas is coming!

The Corporate Wife PSA

This morning, I watched my husband and twenty of his male co-workers play flag football. The game was actually a charity fundraiser, though I'm not exactly sure how that worked - I think everyone that played contributed $10 and then the organizer gave the money to A Child's Place. Regardless, a bunch of out of shape, banker-type guys decided to get together on a beautiful fall day to play football.

I decided to go because I have an irrational fear that my husband is going to end up in the ER if I'm not there. I suppose it's not entirely irrational - he once went to a weekend-long bachelor party and ended up in the ER(to get a few stitches) after taking a basketball in the face. But when I think of him playing flag football with his co-workers, I'm more concerned about broken fingers and ankles, pulled hamstrings, and torn ACLs (my biggest fear) because most of these guys are weekend warriors. For the record, my husband is in great shape and left the game mostly unscathed - he may have a bruise or two but nothing serious. His co-workers, however, are going to be sore for the next week. And I did have to buddy tape a dislocated pinky finger for one of his co-workers. That was kinda gross.

Anyway, I wasn't the only wife on the sideline. The organizer's wife was there taking pictures, and a couple of other girlfriends and wives arrived later. After a few minutes of small talk with the women, I wanted to be out on the field with the boys. Instead I took out my Kindle and pretended to read.

Maybe it's because I've been married for eight years and with my husband for fourteen years, maybe it's because I'm in my thirties, or maybe it's because I don't really relate to women very well, but I felt like I had nothing in common with these women. I could go on a rant about what they were talking about and bore you with all the details of what was said, but I was bored and annoyed by them and I don't feel that you should be too. I'm nice like that.

But let me just say this - I've been a corporate wife for eight years and I've learned a few things about how to behave when we get together with work people. It's one thing when we're with co-workers and their families from different departments - people who are more like friends and colleagues - but it's completely different when we're with supervisors or supervisees. Even though we may be out of the office and in a more casual setting, the boss is still the boss. And the boss's wife (or husband) will pass along any information that is shared to the boss, and that information can influence any future social invitations. And believe me, those social invitations are important - probably more important than they should be. But that's the corporate game.

So here's my PSA for all the corporate girlfriends, future corporate wives, and current corporate wives - it's never okay to discuss your sex life with your boyfriend's boss's wife. I can't believe I actually have to write that, but after hearing the conversations today, apparently not everyone knows this. It's especially not okay to discuss your sex life when you live in the Bible Belt, where not everyone shares the same carefree attitudes towards sex on the first date or even premarital sex as, say, a 22 year old, recent college grad from Florida State. Hypothetically-speaking of course. And frankly, if any of the wives of the people my husband supervises said anything like that to me, I'd make sure my husband knew what was being said about his employee - not because of my own religious or personal beliefs, but because I don't like when strangers tell me about their sex lives. My husband probably wouldn't care, but in the corporate wife world, it would make a difference. Can you imagine taking a client and his wife out to dinner and discussing getting drunk and having sex in a hot tub? Seriously, I still can't believe I have to write this. It's not okay.

Now, I may not have left a great impression because I ignored the conversation and pretended to read while they were talking. I own that. But none of those wives and girlfriends have significant others who work with my husband so I'm not particularly concerned. And I did notice when the guy dislocated his finger, and I hiked back to the car to get the tape and an instant ice pack out of my husband's soccer bag.

And guess who noticed and thanked me and my husband for that? The CFO.

I guess sometimes it pays to be an anti-social, irrationally fearful, corporate wife.

GO LUCY!!!

Just a quick shout out to my sister, who is running the Indianapolis Monumental Half-Marathon tomorrow! Never in a million years could I imagine running for 13+ miles, but this will be my sister's second time doing a half marathon. I admire her dedication to training and determination to do better in this race than her first. It's only a matter of time before she does her first marathon. Crazy girl. :)

GO LUCY!

(FYI - Lucy is not her real name, but that's what I call her. It's better if you don't ask why.)

Giuliana and Bill

Do you watch this show on the Style Network? It's my new favorite reality television show. I watched the first two seasons off and on, but I am hooked on the third season.

The first and second seasons focused on being newlyweds, adapting to their new living arrangements, building their house, etc., but also provided glimpses into their professional lives as well. The second season also touched on starting a family and difficulties getting pregnant, with Giuliana unsuccessfully undergoing IUI.

Thus far, the third season has focused on getting pregnant. Giuliana went through IVF and got pregnant! She and Bill bought their "family home in the suburbs" and began planning for life with kids, but then they suffered a miscarriage at eight weeks. That episode, and the one that followed, were just heartbreaking to me. Both Giuliana and Bill were hurting, but they expressed it in very different ways. Bill threw himself into working on the house, trying to be encouraging and positive, while Giuliana reached out to friends and saw a therapist to address her sadness. And I admit to tearing up a bit when she asked her therapist, "Why are we being punished?"

I think it's really brave of them to talk about infertility and miscarriage on television. They've said that they want to erase the stigma associated with miscarriage, and I hope they do. I know so many people who have gone through this horrible experience, and they've kept it private or have felt ashamed, but they're not alone. I hope that the show will help others in the same situation.

Not voting

I didn't vote today. North Carolina didn't have a governor election so it wasn't as big as other states, and my Congressional district wasn't hotly contested either (unlike my neighboring districts which are up for grabs). We're not even having a mayoral election. More than half of the "little offices" were running unopposed. Still, I planned to vote, but when I actually did my research on the candidates, I became very disillusioned and made the decision that not voting represented my interests better than voting would.

I've always had the policy of only voting for a candidate, and never voting against a candidate. In other words, I'll never vote for Candidate A just because I don't want Candidate B to win. To me, voting that way signals that I somehow approve of or endorse Candidate A when I really don't. For example, my congressional district featured the incumbent and her opponent, who had never voted until the primary in May. Am I really supposed to take this election seriously?

I blame all the statistics and surveys I've had to interpret over the years. Until there's a "None of the Above" or "No Opinion" option, choosing not to vote is the best solution for me.

My partner

I met my husband through the girl that lived next door to me my freshman year of college. I'd seen my future husband a few times during the first few weeks of school, but I didn't officially meet him until the day he took my neighbor out on a date. The girls on my floor had signed up for an outing sponsored by my residence hall that night, so my future husband and my neighbor went out to an early dinner and then went back to her room to hang out until it was time for all of the girls to leave. It was during their hang out time that I officially met him.

I was getting ready to go out and had accidentally smudged my eyeliner and mascara all over my eye. I needed a Q-tip to clean it up without having to start over completely. I went next door to my neighbor to see if she had one and was surprised to see my future husband there, hanging out. We were introduced and we talked for a few minutes. We were very comfortable with each other and our interaction felt completely natural, like we'd known each other for years. I left my neighbor's room knowing that I had just met the boy I was going to marry.

I fully expected that my future husband and I would become friends, and maybe a few years down the road we'd start dating. Because I knew in my heart that he was my soulmate, I wasn't in a hurry to enter a romantic relationship with him, but I did want to have him in my life. His relationship with my neighbor was over in just a few weeks, but my future husband and I became friends - very close friends. In just a couple of months, our feelings of love developed naturally from this friendship and we started dating.

It's been more than fourteen years since that day I met my future husband, but I still remember that feeling when I knew he was the one I was going to marry. It wasn't like a romance novel, movie, or television show - I didn't see a heart appear around his face, hear music play, or feel some sort of insane physical chemistry. Rather, it was a feeling of peace and calm and comfort. I had found my partner.

I was only eighteen when I met my husband, and I still had a lot of maturing to do to really understand how to be a partner to someone. I'm still learning. But we learned it together, and we're still learning it together, and we'll continue to learn together.

Whenever I feel frustration about where I am in my life, I remind myself of what it was like to meet my husband all those years ago, and how I felt to know that I had found my partner in life. I remind myself that it's not just about me and doing what is best for me in my career, for my happiness, or for my life, just as it's not just about him and his career, his happiness, or his life. It's about us - not both of us individually, but us as a single partnership. We, he, and I need to do what is best for us.

The sum of our marriage is definitely greater than its parts.