Today I was told that I appear to be the happiest I've been in years. I had to ask myself - am I that happy or was I really that miserable?
The honest answer - I was that miserable. I hated my life in Michigan. I loved my little hockey boys and really enjoyed working with them, and I made some good friends, but that was about it. I hated school, I hated my job, I hated the weather. I missed Wisconsin and I missed my life there. I knew I had outgrown my job and was frustrated by that, but I still enjoyed it for the most part. I constantly questioned why I left, and generally felt like I'd made a huge mistake when I decided to pursue my PhD in Michigan.
I'm not the only one who was miserable - my husband hated it too. He also made some great friends, and he loved coaching soccer, but he had his share of frustrations with work and other stuff. Neither one of us wanted to admit how much we disliked living there because we knew we had a reason for being there, but we really hated it.
In some ways, the fact that I'm happier here is counterintuitive - I'm farther away from my family, I don't have my sporting events to attend or teams that I root for, I don't have any friends, and I don't have a job. Despite all this, I'm happier.
I immediately liked Charlotte. It felt like a much better fit than Michigan ever did. I have my challenges, of course, and I'm frustrated that I don't have a job, but I still like Charlotte. I'm not sure what it is exactly - maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the lifestyle, maybe it's just that it's not Michigan. I certainly love the sunshine, and the fact that I have a noticeable tan makes me happy (spare me the skin cancer talk, I wear SPF 70 sunscreen daily and Vitamin D is good for physical and mental health). I also love having access to the pool, and my water aerobics and tennis classes. I really enjoy being able to walk to the grocery store or Walmart without it completely disrupting my day. But these are little things, and really shouldn't make that much of a noticeable difference in my happiness.
Maybe I actually like being a housewife. Huh.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Hockey mom
I was a "hockey mom" before it had a political connotation. I'm not actually a mom of a hockey player, but I was once told by a college hockey player that I was like his mom so I think that's close enough.
The comment that I was like his mom wasn't because I cooked for him or did his laundry or nagged him relentlessly. Well, maybe it was because I nagged him relentlessly. I prefer to think it's because I cheered for him, cared for him, and generally supported him while he adjusted to college. I was president of his fan club, so to speak, and I believed in him when a lot of other people had given up on him. I referred to him as "my little hockey boy" even though he was anything but little. It was an affectionate term for how I felt about him. I thought of him as my little boy, my pseudo-son who I was responsible for taking care of throughout his college career.
I met my little hockey boy when I was assigned to work with him on his academics. He came to college seriously underprepared academically and had significant learning disabilities, both of which went undetected during his recruitment. Actually, his parents were very forthright that he had learning disabilities, but his transcripts and test scores didn't reveal the extent of these challenges. A month into the first semester of his freshman year of college, he was re-tested and diagnosed, and I was hired to work with him one-on-one.
I was tough on him. I pushed him to take school seriously and made him stay longer than he was required to in order to complete his work. He rewrote more papers than he probably needed to because I knew he could do better. I encouraged him to register for classes that he found interesting, even if they were going to challenge him academically more than he'd even been challenged in his school career. I made him a student-athlete.
As much as I pushed him, he also knew how much I cared for him. One of my favorite little hockey boy moments came after I had been working with him for over a year, and happened on a day when he needed both a butt kicking and a hug. I was on my way home from Milwaukee and got caught in a snowstorm. The interstate closed and I had to take an alternate route home so I was late to study table. I had a partner who supervised the other hockey guys so this normally wouldn't be a problem, but on this particular night, my little hockey boy didn't want to be there. He threatened to leave, saying that he didn't need to be there if I wasn't there. My partner and I exchanged text messages and I assured her I would be there soon, and she convinced him to stay. By the time I arrived, he was sulking and refusing to do any work.
I took him aside and said something like, "What is going on with you? You're acting like a butthead and that's not like you at all. You've never talked back to me or [my partner], you've never refused to do your work, and you've never been disrespectful to me, but this week you've done all of those things and that's not like you. What is going on with you?"
And my 6'2", 215-lb. hockey player, who was known to be an enforcer on the ice, teared up.
He shared how frustrated he was with his lack of playing time- he had essentially been benched- and how he felt like if he wasn't playing hockey, he didn't know if he should stay at this school because it was so academically difficult. I told him that I would support him in whatever he decided to do, but as far as I was concerned, he wasn't going to leave the university because he couldn't hack it academically. I also reminded him that he could talk to me whenever he needed to and that I would always be there for him.
Was I professional in how I handled the situation? Not really. I did confront the behavior, which is absolutely the right thing to do professionally, but it's also the way I would hope a parent would address a child who was acting out of character. Should I have said he was acting like a butthead? No. Would a mom tell her son he was acting like a butthead? Eh, maybe. The thing is, I never, EVER talked to him like that and so the fact that I called it like I saw it completely grabbed his attention. It's also the way I knew he had to be addressed - directly and without any bullshit - and this was because he'd always been talked to this way as hockey player. Hockey coaches don't do subtle.
Because I was not just a tutor but also a pseudo hockey mom, I grew very attached to these boys. I wanted what was best for them, and I wanted them to be successful in school, in hockey, and in life. I was just as happy when they did well in school as when they won games, but I was happier when I saw them make good decisions and act maturely, and I was happiest when I saw them achieve their goals that I knew they worked so hard to accomplish.
Last May, my little hockey boy graduated. This was a major accomplishment for him, and I couldn't be prouder of him. Because he persevered through school, he was able to keep playing hockey. And because he was able to develop as a player and a person over four years, he not only graduated in May, but also signed a professional contract to play hockey. This was his dream, and even though it was a difficult journey, he accomplished his goal.
I think back to all that was happening with my little hockey boy on that day when I confronted him, and I feel like it was a turning point for him. I don't know that I really had anything to do with turning it around both in school and in hockey, but I do know that his attitude changed after that day. I don't think I motivated him in anyway - he had to put in a lot of work on and off the ice to get back in the coaches' good graces and that was all his doing - but I think it helped him to know that he had someone in his corner.
The Charlotte Checkers schedule came out today, and I'm thrilled that they have two home games against the team that my little hockey boy will be playing for this year. I'm going to be at those games, cheering loudly, like the proud hockey mom I am.
The comment that I was like his mom wasn't because I cooked for him or did his laundry or nagged him relentlessly. Well, maybe it was because I nagged him relentlessly. I prefer to think it's because I cheered for him, cared for him, and generally supported him while he adjusted to college. I was president of his fan club, so to speak, and I believed in him when a lot of other people had given up on him. I referred to him as "my little hockey boy" even though he was anything but little. It was an affectionate term for how I felt about him. I thought of him as my little boy, my pseudo-son who I was responsible for taking care of throughout his college career.
I met my little hockey boy when I was assigned to work with him on his academics. He came to college seriously underprepared academically and had significant learning disabilities, both of which went undetected during his recruitment. Actually, his parents were very forthright that he had learning disabilities, but his transcripts and test scores didn't reveal the extent of these challenges. A month into the first semester of his freshman year of college, he was re-tested and diagnosed, and I was hired to work with him one-on-one.
I was tough on him. I pushed him to take school seriously and made him stay longer than he was required to in order to complete his work. He rewrote more papers than he probably needed to because I knew he could do better. I encouraged him to register for classes that he found interesting, even if they were going to challenge him academically more than he'd even been challenged in his school career. I made him a student-athlete.
As much as I pushed him, he also knew how much I cared for him. One of my favorite little hockey boy moments came after I had been working with him for over a year, and happened on a day when he needed both a butt kicking and a hug. I was on my way home from Milwaukee and got caught in a snowstorm. The interstate closed and I had to take an alternate route home so I was late to study table. I had a partner who supervised the other hockey guys so this normally wouldn't be a problem, but on this particular night, my little hockey boy didn't want to be there. He threatened to leave, saying that he didn't need to be there if I wasn't there. My partner and I exchanged text messages and I assured her I would be there soon, and she convinced him to stay. By the time I arrived, he was sulking and refusing to do any work.
I took him aside and said something like, "What is going on with you? You're acting like a butthead and that's not like you at all. You've never talked back to me or [my partner], you've never refused to do your work, and you've never been disrespectful to me, but this week you've done all of those things and that's not like you. What is going on with you?"
And my 6'2", 215-lb. hockey player, who was known to be an enforcer on the ice, teared up.
He shared how frustrated he was with his lack of playing time- he had essentially been benched- and how he felt like if he wasn't playing hockey, he didn't know if he should stay at this school because it was so academically difficult. I told him that I would support him in whatever he decided to do, but as far as I was concerned, he wasn't going to leave the university because he couldn't hack it academically. I also reminded him that he could talk to me whenever he needed to and that I would always be there for him.
Was I professional in how I handled the situation? Not really. I did confront the behavior, which is absolutely the right thing to do professionally, but it's also the way I would hope a parent would address a child who was acting out of character. Should I have said he was acting like a butthead? No. Would a mom tell her son he was acting like a butthead? Eh, maybe. The thing is, I never, EVER talked to him like that and so the fact that I called it like I saw it completely grabbed his attention. It's also the way I knew he had to be addressed - directly and without any bullshit - and this was because he'd always been talked to this way as hockey player. Hockey coaches don't do subtle.
Because I was not just a tutor but also a pseudo hockey mom, I grew very attached to these boys. I wanted what was best for them, and I wanted them to be successful in school, in hockey, and in life. I was just as happy when they did well in school as when they won games, but I was happier when I saw them make good decisions and act maturely, and I was happiest when I saw them achieve their goals that I knew they worked so hard to accomplish.
Last May, my little hockey boy graduated. This was a major accomplishment for him, and I couldn't be prouder of him. Because he persevered through school, he was able to keep playing hockey. And because he was able to develop as a player and a person over four years, he not only graduated in May, but also signed a professional contract to play hockey. This was his dream, and even though it was a difficult journey, he accomplished his goal.
I think back to all that was happening with my little hockey boy on that day when I confronted him, and I feel like it was a turning point for him. I don't know that I really had anything to do with turning it around both in school and in hockey, but I do know that his attitude changed after that day. I don't think I motivated him in anyway - he had to put in a lot of work on and off the ice to get back in the coaches' good graces and that was all his doing - but I think it helped him to know that he had someone in his corner.
The Charlotte Checkers schedule came out today, and I'm thrilled that they have two home games against the team that my little hockey boy will be playing for this year. I'm going to be at those games, cheering loudly, like the proud hockey mom I am.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Minuet, Govotte, and Concerto
I've been playing the violin since I was five, but I haven't really played since college. However, every now and then I get the urge to play and so I take my violin out of its case and play.
I learned to play via the Suzuki method for the first five years which means I learned to play by ear before I learned to sight-read music. To this day, I'm an average sight-reader and can fumble through music with a little practice, but I can actually play the music the first time I read it if I've heard it first. When I was asked to play last-minute in the pit orchestra for Hello, Dolly! in high school, instead of asking for the sheet music to review I asked for soundtrack on CD. The conductor looked at me strangely, shook his head, and said, "Suzuki, right?"
Learning via the Suzuki method also means that I memorized every song I learned. This serves me well when I get the urge to play. I don't need my books or sheet music - my brain tells my fingers what to do and I'm barely conscious of them as the press the strings against the fingerboard. In fact, when I do try to slow down and think about what I'm doing, I tend to fumble a bit so I've learned to just trust the muscle memory of my hands and enjoy how easy it is to play the songs I learned when I was five or eight or ten.
The Suzuki method also encourages immersion in music and the musical community. We had regular group lessons and concerts from the beginning. One of my teachers took me to see an opera, Amahl and the Night Visitors, when I was eight or nine years old. Because of these early experiences, I've always felt a sense of community around my own violin playing and felt the most enthusiastic about playing when I was performing with others - the school orchestra, the pit for musicals, the church choirs, etc.
The problem with this type of learning is that I struggled to learn or play individually. I thrived in the group setting, but I never engaged with unfamiliar music that I had to learn on my own. When I stopped playing Suzuki, I felt uncomfortable because I was expected to sight-read and I wasn't very good at it. I wasn't required to memorize the music either, which meant that my fingers never developed muscle memory and my brain would interfere and cause me to fumble around as I processed how the note on the page translated to fingering on the strings. The music itself didn't get more difficult, but playing the music seemed more challenging, and I simply didn't enjoy it as much.
My struggles with playing didn't diminish my love of music or the music community - Quite the opposite, actually. I have a deep love and appreciation of musicals that I am lucky enough to be able to share with my husband. (How many couples are equally happy at both a Broadway show and the Big East basketball tournament on vacation?) I also love classical music and find myself fingering along whenever I hear my favorites - Pachelbel's Canon in D, Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, and Bach's Air on the G String. Music is meant to be shared and experienced with others.
I picked up my violin a few weeks ago to play for fun. Even after all these years, my fingers knew just what to do. There's something very comforting in knowing that no matter how many years pass, or how many other things I learn and forget, I'll always know how to play Bach's Govotte in G Minor.
I wonder if there are any adult Suzuki group lessons out there.
I learned to play via the Suzuki method for the first five years which means I learned to play by ear before I learned to sight-read music. To this day, I'm an average sight-reader and can fumble through music with a little practice, but I can actually play the music the first time I read it if I've heard it first. When I was asked to play last-minute in the pit orchestra for Hello, Dolly! in high school, instead of asking for the sheet music to review I asked for soundtrack on CD. The conductor looked at me strangely, shook his head, and said, "Suzuki, right?"
Learning via the Suzuki method also means that I memorized every song I learned. This serves me well when I get the urge to play. I don't need my books or sheet music - my brain tells my fingers what to do and I'm barely conscious of them as the press the strings against the fingerboard. In fact, when I do try to slow down and think about what I'm doing, I tend to fumble a bit so I've learned to just trust the muscle memory of my hands and enjoy how easy it is to play the songs I learned when I was five or eight or ten.
The Suzuki method also encourages immersion in music and the musical community. We had regular group lessons and concerts from the beginning. One of my teachers took me to see an opera, Amahl and the Night Visitors, when I was eight or nine years old. Because of these early experiences, I've always felt a sense of community around my own violin playing and felt the most enthusiastic about playing when I was performing with others - the school orchestra, the pit for musicals, the church choirs, etc.
The problem with this type of learning is that I struggled to learn or play individually. I thrived in the group setting, but I never engaged with unfamiliar music that I had to learn on my own. When I stopped playing Suzuki, I felt uncomfortable because I was expected to sight-read and I wasn't very good at it. I wasn't required to memorize the music either, which meant that my fingers never developed muscle memory and my brain would interfere and cause me to fumble around as I processed how the note on the page translated to fingering on the strings. The music itself didn't get more difficult, but playing the music seemed more challenging, and I simply didn't enjoy it as much.
My struggles with playing didn't diminish my love of music or the music community - Quite the opposite, actually. I have a deep love and appreciation of musicals that I am lucky enough to be able to share with my husband. (How many couples are equally happy at both a Broadway show and the Big East basketball tournament on vacation?) I also love classical music and find myself fingering along whenever I hear my favorites - Pachelbel's Canon in D, Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, and Bach's Air on the G String. Music is meant to be shared and experienced with others.
I picked up my violin a few weeks ago to play for fun. Even after all these years, my fingers knew just what to do. There's something very comforting in knowing that no matter how many years pass, or how many other things I learn and forget, I'll always know how to play Bach's Govotte in G Minor.
I wonder if there are any adult Suzuki group lessons out there.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
I confess - I'm obsessed with Harry Potter. It's not a surprise to anyone who has spent any time with me, but I feel I must confess it in order for anyone who hasn't met me to understand this blog.
I enjoy reading a lot and always have. I don't read for fun very often, and I definitely do not have sophisticated taste in books, but I love to immerse myself in a well-written story. That's what I love about Harry Potter. The books are written so well, and tell such an interesting and detailed story, that I easily become lost in the stories of the young wizard and his friends.
I also love how the books matured as Harry matured. The first book was absolutely a children's story, and each one became more sophisticated, nuanced, and mature as the main character and the assumed reader grew up. Instead of outgrowing the books, which happens with most series, the books grow with the reader, creating a fictional friend along for the ride to adulthood.
I think this is what attracted me to the series. A friend of mine, who does have sophisticated literary tastes, recommended the books to me. Her first story as a newspaper reporter was to cover the release of the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. She read the first few books as research and thoroughly enjoyed them, and convinced me to read them too. I fell in love with them. I bought the first two and read them on the L around Chicago as I commuted between school, my social work internship, and my student affairs internship. I told myself I would wait to read the third and fourth books later. I think I lasted a week before I read the third book because I was so eager to know what happened. I just fell in love with this innocent, orphaned wizard who had been treated so poorly in the Muggle world, but who was so remarkable in the wizarding world.
By the time books five through seven came out, I was one of the people at Borders waiting for my book at midnight. In fact, I lived in the Eastern time zone for the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so I was home with my book before they even went on sale for my sister in Iowa. I admit it, I felt a great deal of satisfaction at having my book first. I might be a little competitive. That's another blog.
The books became movies of course, and I love those as well. I'm particularly fascinated with the behind the scenes features that come on the special edition DVDs. I feel like those give great insight into the story being told which adds to my enjoyment and appreciation of the movie. Yes, I know I'm a dork.
Naturally, I love to share my obsession with others. I convinced my sister to read the books and she became obsessed too and my husband has read them too. However, I've been impatiently waiting to pass along this magical world to someone else and I finally had the opportunity last week when my nephew turned six.
I wasn't sure what the appropriate age was to start reading the Harry Potter books, but I did some research and found that age six is generally accepted as a good age to read aloud. I decided months ago that I was going to get my nephew the book to read aloud. Then I found out about the Harry Potter Lego video game. My nephew is obsessed with the Lego video games so I was pretty sure that he'd be interested in the Harry Potter one. Sure enough, a couple months before his birthday, he called me (well, my Harry Potter fan sister who was visiting him called me) and asked for the Harry Potter Lego Wii game for his birthday. I knew I could accommodate that request.
However, it was important to me that he be introduced to the book first and hopefully engage with the wizarding world in his imagination, not just in the video game. We read a few chapters before his birthday. I think it was difficult for him to process without any pictures to guide him, but he seemed to enjoy the story, especially when strange things happened that couldn't be explained rationally. I enjoyed asking him "How do you think Harry did that?" and waiting for him to whisper, "Magic" in response. We also drew our own pictures to help him visualize all the different scenes we read about, and that seemed to help as well. After a few days, he seemed to grasp the story more and was eager to find out what happened to Harry.
Reading is a fundamental skill that all kids need to learn and can therefore seem like a chore. I hope that by introducing my nephew to this amazing, magical world that he can visit whenever he wants, he'll develop a love and appreciation of books. It's a gift I was given as a child, and the one I hope to pass along to all the kids in my life.
I enjoy reading a lot and always have. I don't read for fun very often, and I definitely do not have sophisticated taste in books, but I love to immerse myself in a well-written story. That's what I love about Harry Potter. The books are written so well, and tell such an interesting and detailed story, that I easily become lost in the stories of the young wizard and his friends.
I also love how the books matured as Harry matured. The first book was absolutely a children's story, and each one became more sophisticated, nuanced, and mature as the main character and the assumed reader grew up. Instead of outgrowing the books, which happens with most series, the books grow with the reader, creating a fictional friend along for the ride to adulthood.
I think this is what attracted me to the series. A friend of mine, who does have sophisticated literary tastes, recommended the books to me. Her first story as a newspaper reporter was to cover the release of the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. She read the first few books as research and thoroughly enjoyed them, and convinced me to read them too. I fell in love with them. I bought the first two and read them on the L around Chicago as I commuted between school, my social work internship, and my student affairs internship. I told myself I would wait to read the third and fourth books later. I think I lasted a week before I read the third book because I was so eager to know what happened. I just fell in love with this innocent, orphaned wizard who had been treated so poorly in the Muggle world, but who was so remarkable in the wizarding world.
By the time books five through seven came out, I was one of the people at Borders waiting for my book at midnight. In fact, I lived in the Eastern time zone for the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so I was home with my book before they even went on sale for my sister in Iowa. I admit it, I felt a great deal of satisfaction at having my book first. I might be a little competitive. That's another blog.
The books became movies of course, and I love those as well. I'm particularly fascinated with the behind the scenes features that come on the special edition DVDs. I feel like those give great insight into the story being told which adds to my enjoyment and appreciation of the movie. Yes, I know I'm a dork.
Naturally, I love to share my obsession with others. I convinced my sister to read the books and she became obsessed too and my husband has read them too. However, I've been impatiently waiting to pass along this magical world to someone else and I finally had the opportunity last week when my nephew turned six.
I wasn't sure what the appropriate age was to start reading the Harry Potter books, but I did some research and found that age six is generally accepted as a good age to read aloud. I decided months ago that I was going to get my nephew the book to read aloud. Then I found out about the Harry Potter Lego video game. My nephew is obsessed with the Lego video games so I was pretty sure that he'd be interested in the Harry Potter one. Sure enough, a couple months before his birthday, he called me (well, my Harry Potter fan sister who was visiting him called me) and asked for the Harry Potter Lego Wii game for his birthday. I knew I could accommodate that request.
However, it was important to me that he be introduced to the book first and hopefully engage with the wizarding world in his imagination, not just in the video game. We read a few chapters before his birthday. I think it was difficult for him to process without any pictures to guide him, but he seemed to enjoy the story, especially when strange things happened that couldn't be explained rationally. I enjoyed asking him "How do you think Harry did that?" and waiting for him to whisper, "Magic" in response. We also drew our own pictures to help him visualize all the different scenes we read about, and that seemed to help as well. After a few days, he seemed to grasp the story more and was eager to find out what happened to Harry.
Reading is a fundamental skill that all kids need to learn and can therefore seem like a chore. I hope that by introducing my nephew to this amazing, magical world that he can visit whenever he wants, he'll develop a love and appreciation of books. It's a gift I was given as a child, and the one I hope to pass along to all the kids in my life.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Frequent Flyer
I am an impulsive person - or at least it seems that way. I'm actually not as impulsive as a I may seem to others. Really, I think about decisions a lot- almost obsessively - but I don't always vocalize my thoughts, and sometimes I'm not even fully aware that I've been tossing the idea around in my head. So I know that it often makes it look like I made an impulsive decision.
Take today, for example. I just booked a flight to Milwaukee and I'm leaving at 9:30am... tomorrow. My nephew's birthday is Thursday and I'm going to surprise him.
But really, I've been thinking about this for weeks. I wanted to visit, but flights are expensive. Plus, I didn't know if I would have a job, so I didn't want to make plans too early. Unfortunately, the closer to departure, the higher the price of the flight so it quickly became cost prohibitive and I didn't think I would be able to do it.
However, I do have frequent flyer miles.
A little known travel secret - sometimes it is possible to book last minute trips for a minimum number of frequent flyer miles, especially in the middle of the week. If the flight isn't full, airlines would rather fill the seats than leave them empty.
So I'd been tossing around the idea of visiting for a while, but didn't think it was possible. Then my husband told me he was going to be out of town in a couple of weeks, and I thought, "Hmm, maybe I can go somewhere too." I started looking at flights to Milwaukee but realized the timing of the trip probably wasn't great because my nephew would be starting school. That change in schedule would be disruptive enough in his life without my visit. So I started thinking about this week again.
Last night, my husband and I started planning some other trips so I was fooling around on the travel websites. I thought about this week again, and decided to check on flights using my miles. I was shocked to see that I could book a last minute roundtrip flight for the minimum number of miles and decided that was a good enough deal for me to go. So in less than 24 hours, I'll be in Milwaukee!
I'm very lucky to have these options available to me. I love having the freedom to just pick up and go, and I love having the resources to be able to do it. I try to be responsible with money so I'd never drop $1000+ on a last minute flight unless it was absolutely necessary. But I flew a lot last year and accumulated a lot of miles and I think a trip like this is a perfect excuse to use those miles. I wouldn't be able to do this if I wasn't a housewife.
I'm so excited to give my nephew his present in person and welcome him to the world of Harry Potter!
Take today, for example. I just booked a flight to Milwaukee and I'm leaving at 9:30am... tomorrow. My nephew's birthday is Thursday and I'm going to surprise him.
But really, I've been thinking about this for weeks. I wanted to visit, but flights are expensive. Plus, I didn't know if I would have a job, so I didn't want to make plans too early. Unfortunately, the closer to departure, the higher the price of the flight so it quickly became cost prohibitive and I didn't think I would be able to do it.
However, I do have frequent flyer miles.
A little known travel secret - sometimes it is possible to book last minute trips for a minimum number of frequent flyer miles, especially in the middle of the week. If the flight isn't full, airlines would rather fill the seats than leave them empty.
So I'd been tossing around the idea of visiting for a while, but didn't think it was possible. Then my husband told me he was going to be out of town in a couple of weeks, and I thought, "Hmm, maybe I can go somewhere too." I started looking at flights to Milwaukee but realized the timing of the trip probably wasn't great because my nephew would be starting school. That change in schedule would be disruptive enough in his life without my visit. So I started thinking about this week again.
Last night, my husband and I started planning some other trips so I was fooling around on the travel websites. I thought about this week again, and decided to check on flights using my miles. I was shocked to see that I could book a last minute roundtrip flight for the minimum number of miles and decided that was a good enough deal for me to go. So in less than 24 hours, I'll be in Milwaukee!
I'm very lucky to have these options available to me. I love having the freedom to just pick up and go, and I love having the resources to be able to do it. I try to be responsible with money so I'd never drop $1000+ on a last minute flight unless it was absolutely necessary. But I flew a lot last year and accumulated a lot of miles and I think a trip like this is a perfect excuse to use those miles. I wouldn't be able to do this if I wasn't a housewife.
I'm so excited to give my nephew his present in person and welcome him to the world of Harry Potter!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Housewife Confirmation
I did laundry today. This is generally not earth-shattering news, but my husband generally does the laundry. Or rather, he starts a load in the morning before work and then I'm responsible for moving the load from the washer to the dryer (when my husband reminds me), and then we fold it together. However, I actually started a load all by myself today so that meant I had to remember to move it to the dryer on my own.
I remembered when my husband and I were watching tv, so I got up and announced, "I have to change the laundry." My husband responded, "You did laundry today? You're such a good housewife."
It's confirmed: I am a real housewife.
Well, maybe not a REAL housewife. We did have Chinese take-out for dinner.
I remembered when my husband and I were watching tv, so I got up and announced, "I have to change the laundry." My husband responded, "You did laundry today? You're such a good housewife."
It's confirmed: I am a real housewife.
Well, maybe not a REAL housewife. We did have Chinese take-out for dinner.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My pet peeve
This morning I decided to do some writing at Panera. The Charlotte Paneras are participating in a new rewards program, My Panera. I had earned a free smoothie just for registering my card, so I decided today would be the day I would redeem my delicious treat. Plus, the Panera I went to has an abundance of outlets so it's a pretty good place to work when I have to be plugged in.
As someone who works from home, I appreciate coffee shops and restaurants that are "computer-friendly." That is, I appreciate those places that recognize there are people who frequent their businesses as a place to get food and drink, but also to get some work accomplished. I'm not a coffee drinker so I didn't frequent the coffee shops during my undergraduate and first two graduate school adventures, but I found it necessary to get out of the house to do work when I started my doctorate. Places like Panera and Starbucks became part of my regular "work" rotation. I gathered with research partners to discuss ideas and write papers, and I met friends to work side-by-side as we would grind through our respective projects. I had an office at school, but found it to be horrible for actually doing work because I was constantly interrupted by questions, especially as I became a senior member of the research team. Thus, the coffee shops became my second office. Now that I have no office alternative, I appreciate these places even more.
Because I use these places for work, I've become a bit of a snob when it comes to how other non-working people use these places. My experience today is an example of my pet-peeve: Non-computer people sitting at the outlet-accessible tables. If you're a non-computer person, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and that's why I'm educating you today. Most coffee shops that offer Wi-Fi have a fair amount of outlets, especially if they've opened in the last few years. However, not all of the tables have access to outlets so the ones that do are in high demand. In fact, I used to carry a power strip with me so that more people could use the outlets near me. Therefore, nothing irritates me more than seeing a person without a computer sitting at a precious outlet-accessible table. I want that outlet, I NEED that outlet, and those people are just being selfish.
As I mentioned, the Panera I visited today has an outlet abundance so I generally can find one without any problems as I did today. I know every table that has an outlet so it's pretty easy for me to do a quick scan and settle in to my spot. I sat at a small table meant for two, but once I put a laptop on it, it became a table for one. Two booths were on the opposite wall, and both of the booths have outlets. They are premium spots for groups to work together, and my husband and I have claimed these booths many Sunday afternoons to crank through our work together. Because I've used them, I know their magical powers and thus I get very upset when I see people sitting at them who are not using the outlets, as I did today. Some woman sat in the booth, alone, and drank her coffee and read her book and never seemed to be aware that she was sitting at the magic table. She may have gleaned something from my dirty looks, but it was probably just that I was rude and not that she was wasting the special talents of the booth she was sitting in. Poor booth.
I understand that people like booths, and this Panera has many booths without outlets. In fact, it's just these two booths that have outlets and that's why I get so upset when they are in use by non-computer users. Go sit in one of the other booths! My anger isn't booth specific either. I hate when non-computer people sit at the two person table with the outlet when the same table next to it is just a little too far from the outlet to be usable for a computer person like me. I feel like those people are purposely taunting me.
So if you're ever at Panera or Starbucks or any place that people generally hang out and play on their laptops, do a quick check before you sit down and make sure you're not being an outlet hog. The Real Housewife of Charlotte, and the graduate students of the world, will thank you.
As someone who works from home, I appreciate coffee shops and restaurants that are "computer-friendly." That is, I appreciate those places that recognize there are people who frequent their businesses as a place to get food and drink, but also to get some work accomplished. I'm not a coffee drinker so I didn't frequent the coffee shops during my undergraduate and first two graduate school adventures, but I found it necessary to get out of the house to do work when I started my doctorate. Places like Panera and Starbucks became part of my regular "work" rotation. I gathered with research partners to discuss ideas and write papers, and I met friends to work side-by-side as we would grind through our respective projects. I had an office at school, but found it to be horrible for actually doing work because I was constantly interrupted by questions, especially as I became a senior member of the research team. Thus, the coffee shops became my second office. Now that I have no office alternative, I appreciate these places even more.
Because I use these places for work, I've become a bit of a snob when it comes to how other non-working people use these places. My experience today is an example of my pet-peeve: Non-computer people sitting at the outlet-accessible tables. If you're a non-computer person, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and that's why I'm educating you today. Most coffee shops that offer Wi-Fi have a fair amount of outlets, especially if they've opened in the last few years. However, not all of the tables have access to outlets so the ones that do are in high demand. In fact, I used to carry a power strip with me so that more people could use the outlets near me. Therefore, nothing irritates me more than seeing a person without a computer sitting at a precious outlet-accessible table. I want that outlet, I NEED that outlet, and those people are just being selfish.
As I mentioned, the Panera I visited today has an outlet abundance so I generally can find one without any problems as I did today. I know every table that has an outlet so it's pretty easy for me to do a quick scan and settle in to my spot. I sat at a small table meant for two, but once I put a laptop on it, it became a table for one. Two booths were on the opposite wall, and both of the booths have outlets. They are premium spots for groups to work together, and my husband and I have claimed these booths many Sunday afternoons to crank through our work together. Because I've used them, I know their magical powers and thus I get very upset when I see people sitting at them who are not using the outlets, as I did today. Some woman sat in the booth, alone, and drank her coffee and read her book and never seemed to be aware that she was sitting at the magic table. She may have gleaned something from my dirty looks, but it was probably just that I was rude and not that she was wasting the special talents of the booth she was sitting in. Poor booth.
I understand that people like booths, and this Panera has many booths without outlets. In fact, it's just these two booths that have outlets and that's why I get so upset when they are in use by non-computer users. Go sit in one of the other booths! My anger isn't booth specific either. I hate when non-computer people sit at the two person table with the outlet when the same table next to it is just a little too far from the outlet to be usable for a computer person like me. I feel like those people are purposely taunting me.
So if you're ever at Panera or Starbucks or any place that people generally hang out and play on their laptops, do a quick check before you sit down and make sure you're not being an outlet hog. The Real Housewife of Charlotte, and the graduate students of the world, will thank you.
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