I'm Happy. Who knew?

Today I was told that I appear to be the happiest I've been in years. I had to ask myself - am I that happy or was I really that miserable?

The honest answer - I was that miserable. I hated my life in Michigan. I loved my little hockey boys and really enjoyed working with them, and I made some good friends, but that was about it. I hated school, I hated my job, I hated the weather. I missed Wisconsin and I missed my life there. I knew I had outgrown my job and was frustrated by that, but I still enjoyed it for the most part. I constantly questioned why I left, and generally felt like I'd made a huge mistake when I decided to pursue my PhD in Michigan.

I'm not the only one who was miserable - my husband hated it too. He also made some great friends, and he loved coaching soccer, but he had his share of frustrations with work and other stuff. Neither one of us wanted to admit how much we disliked living there because we knew we had a reason for being there, but we really hated it.

In some ways, the fact that I'm happier here is counterintuitive - I'm farther away from my family, I don't have my sporting events to attend or teams that I root for, I don't have any friends, and I don't have a job. Despite all this, I'm happier.

I immediately liked Charlotte. It felt like a much better fit than Michigan ever did. I have my challenges, of course, and I'm frustrated that I don't have a job, but I still like Charlotte. I'm not sure what it is exactly - maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the lifestyle, maybe it's just that it's not Michigan. I certainly love the sunshine, and the fact that I have a noticeable tan makes me happy (spare me the skin cancer talk, I wear SPF 70 sunscreen daily and Vitamin D is good for physical and mental health). I also love having access to the pool, and my water aerobics and tennis classes. I really enjoy being able to walk to the grocery store or Walmart without it completely disrupting my day. But these are little things, and really shouldn't make that much of a noticeable difference in my happiness.

Maybe I actually like being a housewife. Huh.