Where exactly CAN I buy toilet paper?

Shortly after I wrote this post singing the praises of Target, Target made the news for two not so great reasons - its donation to the a group backing a conservative gubernatorial candidate and the "college essentials" beer pong display. I immediately felt like I should discuss these issues on my blog, but wasn't exactly sure what to say. However, because today is Spirit Day, I feel like I should at least address the issue.

A couple of years ago, one of the professional associations I belong to booked a conference at a hotel and later found out that the owner of that hotel (a major chain, but independently owned) had made a campaign contribution to the group that supported Prop 8 in California. They wanted to move the conference in protest, but in doing so, would break the contract made with hotel and cost the group a lot of money. A major debate ensued, the subtext of the discussion being whether the professional association, and its elected leaders, represented the beliefs of its members.

My stance on political donations has always been that the story becomes what somebody wants it to be. I noticed this during the 2000 election, when I read a story about the largest corporate donors to the presidential candidates/political parties and noticed my boyfriend's company at the time was listed as donors to both. I could be angry that they had donated to the "wrong" campaign or political party, but realistically I understood why - it was business.

I don't fault companies for making decisions based on what makes the most sense from a business rather than a social perspective. Businesses are designed to make money and are fiscally responsible to their shareholders, so businesses support politicians that can help their businesses. I often wish that weren't true, but considering I invest money in the stock market and not in an envelope under my mattress, it would be hypocritical of me to suggest that business must change.

As the article about the Target donation states, Target donates to both political parties. Maybe it's true and maybe it isn't, but it's hard for me to imagine a big corporation like Target, with business interests across state lines, would put all its political eggs in one basket. Sadly, one donation was to a group supporting a politically-polarizing candidate, and I'm very sad that Target wasn't more careful with their donations. But I understand it.

The second reason - the beer pong displays - demonstrates Target's astute but insensitive marketing. Binge drinking and drinking games in college are huge problems in this country, and marketing beer pong supplies as an "essential" captures the image of beer pong and drinking as an important part of college life. It may be an accurage image, but that doesn't mean it should be marketed as such. Students die from alcohol-related incidents every year, and treating alcohol consumption so cavalierly sends the wrong message to current and future college students that beer pong is the norm. At the same time, it is a norm for a lot of college students so should Target be punished for capturing and capitalizing on that trend? It's a business.

I considered whether I should boycott Target and then asked myself - where would I shop otherwise? In fact, I found an article telling me where I should shop otherwise and burst out laughing. Sam's Club? Really? Aren't I supposed to boycott Walmart too? Oh, and Costco too - there's a whole list of reasons to boycott them. And wasn't I supposed to boycott Kmart too because of... something. I don't remember what - guns maybe? Discrimination against customers? Or maybe it was discrimination against employees? I'm not sure what it was, but I'm pretty sure there's a good reason why I'm boycotting them too. Heck, I'm even supposed to boycott Whole Foods, and they're generally seen as one of the good guys.

The reality is that we want our businesses to be socially conscious, and we want them to be socially conscious about our own ideals, but our own ideals often clash with the ideals of others. Gay marriage isn't allowed in most states - why? College students continue to binge drink despite the national attention on student deaths - why? To oversimplify the issue, people have different values. So do businesses. So do business owners.

I'm not happy with Target. I'm not happy with Walmart. But I'm really not happy being overcharged for toilet paper. In times like these, my practicality often overshadows my ideals. Call me weak-minded. Call me financially responsible.

Today is Spirit Day and I don't want to minimize the importance of remembering Tyler Clementi, the college student who committed suicide after his roommate outed him online, and the other five teenagers who killed themselves after being taunted for their sexuality. That is six people too many, and it doesn't begin to capture the depth of the issue.

We can argue that Target has a role in the homophobia and anti-GLBTQ environments - that the opposition to gay marriage by politicians who are being supported by Target's donations further perpetuates the idea that GLBTQ individuals are somehow second-class citizens who aren't deserving of equal rights, and that Target's actions are a contributing factor to these tragic suicides. If that's the case, by all means, boycott Target. But if we do that, shouldn't we look at the practices of every business we frequent and decide if their actions align with our values, if their actions perpetuate any injustice in the world and not simply jump on a latest political bandwagon? It's not easy to align all of our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. In my case, I suspect I'd have very few places to shop or eat. Maybe that's okay.

What I really don't want is to overshadow that broadcasting what happens in the privacy of a someone's own bedroom - whether gay or straight - without his consent is wrong. Shaming others for an aspect of their identity - whether sex, sexuality, race, religion, country of origin, hair color, or eye color - is wrong. Mocking others for their personal preferences - whether it's choice in music, books, television shows, or comic books; or playing or not playing sports, musical instruments, or video games - is wrong.

We don't just need to raise the awareness of anti-gay bullying. We need to raise the awareness of bullying. And we can't stop with awareness. We need to move toward prevention.

And much as their actions made me angry, I'm not convinced that boycotting Target is going to prevent a teen from committing suicide. Nor do I think that getting rid of beer pong kits will prevent binge drinking. But perhaps ensuring that that teen's privacy is respected might prevent suicide. Perhaps teaching others to respect differences, regardless of how uncomfortable or scared these differences make us, might prevent suicide. Or maybe changing the culture so that binge drinking or hate or homophobia or bullying isn't perceived as "the norm" or that suicide isn't viewed as the only solution to these problems might make a bigger difference. Maybe providing more mental health services, more crisis services, and more professionals trained to deal with these issues might make a bigger difference.

And then maybe, MAYBE, there won't be any financial OR voter support for polarizing political candidates.