Coffee talk

I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. I have no use for mornings.

In other words, mornings suck.

Unfortunately for me, most jobs cater to morning people so I have had to adapt my natural sleeping patterns and lifestyle to fit into the world of morning people. I have to get up earlier than my body wants to and go to bed at a "reasonable time." I have to be productive at a time when my brain hasn't even turned on yet. I have to commute when it's still dark outside. And I have to go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning.

After a day of work, I have no motivation to go to the gym so I've decided to go before work. Unlike my gym in Charlotte, however, my gym is not around the corner from my house so I can't go back home to get ready for work. Instead, I schlep a bag of clothes to the gym and get ready there. Side note: Somehow I never feel as clean when showering at the gym as I do at home, but I'll live. And my office has a door for the really bad days :)

What I don't like is that I don't have my morning get-ready time with my husband. Because I'm not a morning person, I don't generally like to talk to anyone in the morning. However, after a couple of car rides and some gym time, I usually wake up enough to have a conversation - nothing deep of course, but more than the conversations when I first wake up, which consist mostly of grunts and whining, with an occassional, "Shhh. No talking." Getting-ready conversations were basically check-ins. My husband and I would talk about our plans for the upcoming day, what to have for dinner, thoughts about the upcoming weekend, reminders to set the DVR, etc.

With my job, we drive separately to the gym, do our separate workouts, and go our separate ways when we finish. I head to the women's locker room to shower and get ready for work, and he drives home to get ready. We don't talk much, if at all, and I miss it. We've tried to adapt to our new schedule; he calls me while he's driving to work and we usually arrive at our respective offices around the same time (because his commute is 5 minutes and mine is 55 minutes). But it's not the same as having that in-person conversation.

I never thought much of those conversations before, but now that we don't have them, I recognize how important they were in our daily lives. Those morning check-ins ensured we were connected daily, and ensured our lines of communication were always open. More importantly, however, our get-ready time was an opportunity for intimacy, because we were physically present with each other. It wasn't intimacy in a sexual way - get your mind out of the gutter! - but because we shared a bedroom and a bathroom, we were constantly in each other's personal space. While that can be annoying at times, I generally enjoyed being close to my husband. I show and feel affection through physical touch, and so does my husband. Sharing our space while we were getting ready was another way for me to feel connected to my husband, just as our morning talks helped me feel connected to him.