Momma should've told me...

My mom is awesome and she's taught me a lot over the years. But as I've gotten older, I've discovered there are many things I probably should've learned or been told along the way. I decided to make a list so that I'll remember to teach my hypothetical daughter these important things and/or to learn how to do them at some point. And also so I'll have one more thing to hold against my mother. Just kidding, Mom!

1. All ingredients should be at room temperature when baking.
I don't bake often - partially because I don't have a persistent sweet tooth and partially because my skills are subpar. I used to make cookies all the time, but they always came out flat and I never understood why. Now I know it's because I used to bake with cold butter, cold eggs, and cold milk, but room temperature ingredients help make baked goods light and fluffy. Giada De Laurentiis and various other Food Network hosts taught me this. My baking skills appear to have improved after learning this useful nugget of information, but now I'm dealing with a crappy oven that doesn't hold its temperature very well. I don't think I'm meant to be a baker, but I'm glad I know the rules now.

2. The rule about room temperature ingredients does not apply to making pie crusts.
The Food Network also taught me this one. Butter needs to be ice cold when making a pie crust. Baking has too many rules and since I don't do a good job of following rules, I shouldn't be surprised I can't and don't like to bake.

3. How to sew.
Aside from an accident involving the sewing machine needle going through my finger, I've never touched a sewing machine. I have no idea how to sew or knit or do anything that would make JoAnn Fabrics a more appealing place. I learned how to cross-stitch (sort of), but my mom didn't teach me that - I learned at a birthday party. My mom knows how to sew, and at least two of my sisters took some sort of sewing or home economics class in high school (we have scrunchies and bags to prove it!) but I never learned. I wish I did because I have a list of things I want to make.

4. Boys are silly and they smell like goats.
I learned this expression on Kairos retreat in high school. After discussing all the ways that boys had disappointed us or screwed us up, one of my group members made this proclamation and it stuck. Essentially it means that boys are immature, relationships with boys are challenging, it's okay to roll your eyes and walk away when boys do things that are dumb. What I took away from it is that I don't need a boy to be happy. My mom never emphasized dating or boyfriends, but she also never explicitly told me that I didn't have to settle for a boy who wasn't worthy of me just so that I'd have a date to Homecoming. I wish she would have. If I ever have a daughter, I will want her to know that her self worth isn't measured by how boys perceive her, and that it's okay to ignore boys until they mature - or at least get more mature.

5. The right way to apply make up.
I'll take responsibility for this one because the first time I wore make up was for my senior pictures, and only wore it from time to time over the next five, no ten years... who am I kidding? I still rarely wear make up, and I think it looks goofy when I do. I had a professional make up lesson before my wedding so I know how to apply special day make up for photographs, but I still don't know really know how to put on make up for normal days.

6. It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life.
With the outrageous costs of higher education, students feel a lot of pressure to figure out a life purpose. But there's also a belief in higher education that if a student doesn't reconsider/change a major at least four times in college, the college hasn't done its job. I could go into all the developmental theory about college students and career development, but instead I'll just say that it's impossible for college students to know want to do for the rest of their lives when they are eighteen years old and only have a preliminary understanding of who they are.

7. I don't know what to do/I made a mistake.
When I was an adult, my mom acknowledged she made a lot of mistakes with me, but I wish she would've acknowledged them when they happened. Instead, I felt that I was being treated unfairly and was generally misunderstood by my mom. That's not unique to me - I know most kids, especially teenage girls, feel like their parents are unreasonable and don't understand them at some point. But for me, I know things would've been better if my mom would've told me that she didn't know how to communicate with me or motivate me or discipline me instead of pretending that mommy knows best.